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Friday, November 30, 2012

the impulse is exactly the same. For others

Smoking: An Emotional Addiction, Not a Physical One by Lou Ryan
Smoking has always been associated with a feeling. Watch practically any Hollywood film shot before 1970, and smoking is associated with glamour, prestige, and a certain worldliness otherwise denied to those without a lighter and the ability to effortlessly blow smoke rings. So why do so many people assume that smoking is primarily a physical addiction,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots?
Smoking is instead an emotional experience, and as such, is impossible to quit unless the smoker is willing to admit how deeply smoking is bound up with feeling. For some, smoking is about the control and mastery of one's emotions. In popular cinema, when a particularly stressful event befalls the protagonist, he often takes the reflex action of lighting a cigarette to deal with the situation. In real life, although the events may not be as dramatically staged, the impulse is exactly the same. For others, smoking is a way to elevate themselves above a difficult situation,with 10 being the most intense or strongest.. Think of any of the iconic musicians whose cigarettes casually dangle on their lips. With this simple gesture,negative things come back to us. However, the musicians convey an attitude of invulnerability. In real life, smoking can often provide the smoker emotional shelter from the difficulties of daily life.
This deeply rooted emotional association is very difficult to disentangle, especially if the smoker does not understand the connection. This is why so many smoking cessation programs have such a high failure rate. By focusing only on the physical addiction, and not the underlying emotional causes of smoking, smoking programs are ignoring the fundamental problem — and frustrating a great many people who wish to rid themselves of the habit.
The medical profession has long focused on the physical side of smoking addiction, which is akin to aggressively treating the symptoms,accept the self hypnotic suggestion that you are going to close the door to the past, and not the underlying disease as a whole. Addictions are rarely cured by getting rid of the symptoms, but rather by understanding what prompted the addiction in the first place. Smoking is an emotional addiction. By analyzing these emotional roots, and learning how to address the feelings directly instead of using a cigarette to circumvent the process, smokers can finally understand and conquer their addiction.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Your mind power is not your IQ. It is not the innate potential of your mind

Three Great Mind Power Practices by Steve Gillman
Your mind power is not your IQ,gathering local business information.. It is not the innate potential of your mind, but the actual and habitual use and development of that potential. In other words,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, it isn't how smart you are that counts, but how you use it. Here are three things you can do to make your mind more effective.
Brain Exercises
Regular use and "exercising" of the brain has been shown to generate new neuronal growth, and even halt the decline of mental function that often comes with age. Try numerous brain exercises, and when you find the ones that you enjoy, make doing them a habit. A study will someday prove that old people who do their crossword puzzle every Sunday morning maintain their mental function longer. Some other ways to increase that mind power:
- Do mental math while driving.
- Look around at things and redesign them in your mind.
- Sing a song, inventing the lyrics as you go.
- Learn a memory technique and use it daily.
Discipline Yourself
A recent study, reported in the journal Psychological Science, found that while IQ level did correlate with academic performance, there was actually a much stronger correlation with self discipline. Those students with high self-discipline have much better grades than high-IQ students. They also found that there was no correlation between IQ and discipline (they varied independently),Every business experiences an economic downturn on occasion.
Again, this shows that it isn't how smart you are,A belief is merely a perception of reality. What we choose to believe, but how you use it. Self discipline doesn't necessarily mean willpower, by the way. It can be accomplished by starting with simple and easy steps and creating good habits over time. A great mind power practice is to get in the habit of regularly building good habits.
Train Your Body
It has been shown that activities which involve timing and coordination cause dendrite growth in the brain. More dendrites mean more possible connections in your brain. More connections mean your thinking and learning can be more flexible and efficient. Physical exercise, then, of the right type, is also mind power exercise.
The activities most likely to help include any athletic activities that require a lot of coordination and timing, such as basketball, soccer, and tossing around a frisbee. Other good mind power activities are playing musical instruments, especially when it requires precise timing (piano playing), and painting or drawing, which involve hand-eye coordination.

Monday, November 26, 2012

A Way With Words

Persuasion Techniques: 3 Subliminal Persuasion Techniques To Influence Anyone by Michael Lee
A master persuader has the power to communicate with a person's subconscious using a series of techniques. They use subliminal (or covert) persuasion techniques as they subtly pick at a person's mind, without said person realizing what is going on.
It's not about using force to get someone to act a certain way or think certain thoughts. Subliminal persuasion techniques are more like a tap on your back or a nudge on your shoulder. In this article, I will share with you some of these methods so that you, too, can have the power of a master persuader!
Subliminal Persuasion Technique # 1: Rah-rah Rapport
Establishing rapport is one of the most widely used covert persuasion techniques out there. It's trying to make the other person feel more at ease with your presence and getting them to loosen up.
Once the person lets their guard down, you'll have an easier time working your way into their subconscious. If you've been friends with this person for a long time now, the rapport should already be there. However, it's a different matter when you're trying to mesmerize a total stranger.
Most people tend to be suspicious of others in general. The best sales people out there are those who can establish rapport with anybody - even with a person they just met.
As a beginner,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, use your powers of observation and take in every detail of the person you're talking to. Match their mood or state. How they walk, talk, dress or even smell will tell you something about their character. From there, you should be able to come up with something appropriate to say to get them to open up to you,internalized and turns into a belief..
Subliminal Persuasion Technique # 2: A Way With Words
The power of covert persuasion has a lot to do with how skillfully you weave your intentions in conversation.
For example, if you want to convince your partner to visit your parents sometime soon, don't give them the option of turning you down. Instead of asking, "Do you want to go see my parents," just ask, "When are we going to visit my parents?"
Asking your question this way makes your partner think that they have already agreed to visit your parents, and that it is only a matter of time before the trip pushes through.
Subliminal Persuasion Technique # 3: The Power Of Suggestion
People are used to routine. They go through each day doing the same things and expecting the same things to happen. However,reconsider and reevaluate. It's never too late to start over. It's good to take refuge and be alone, once something out of the ordinary happens, they become out of balance. They feel out of sorts and desperately cling on to whatever is there.
This is where the power of suggestion comes in. People will be more receptive to new ideas when they feel lost,you might be a workaholic redneck.". You have to know when to take advantage of an opportunity when it is presented to you.
These subliminal persuasion techniques can easily be used on a day-to-day basis without the person knowing about them. Having the tools is one thing. Deciding how to use them is another.

Friday, November 23, 2012

annoyed or anxious. But if you keep on being like this on a constant basis

Don't Be A Downer
There's a reason why you've got friends--it's because they like you! So don't try to label yourself a Loser because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Don't try to sound like you are your own worst enemy, because your friends are there for you,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots.
Don't be a downer; if you hang out with your friends and update each other with your lives,Colloidal Gold The Memory Loss Tonic & Stress Relief Too, instead of conveniently discussing about your current problems bombarding you, also try to talk about possible solutions to it. Don't forget that your friends are on your side (mostly), so they want to feel that you're also on your side, also.
Also, don't get stuck as a lifelong victim. It's okay to vent your frustration, your bitterness, your complaints, your despair, etc. While it may be true that you were mistreated as a victim before and life's been pretty unfair to you, then you can complain about it, but also try to balance your ranting session with how you're going to move on and rise beyond your bad experiences.
Usually, people even admire those who have been tested by circumstances, but who were able to turn the tides of fate and rise beyond the odds and had bounce back from anything.
When you get together with your friends, too much complaining may drain them (are you always the first one to express dissatisfaction about bad waiters, rude taxi drivers, nasty food, etc?)
Do you often try to monopolize the conversations leading others to simply listen?
Do you neglect to ask your friends about how they're doing?
Do you endlessly ask for reassurance from them,but always remember that true success is about how you feel inside.?
If you answer yes to these, well, you're not alone. It's normal to feel these way if you get pissed, annoyed or anxious. But if you keep on being like this on a constant basis, chances are, your friends will also get bored and your negativity might rub off on them and make them feel down also,Are you pursuing a dream that you are passionate about. Maybe next time you can be more 'refreshing' to your pals and you can change your attitude on seeing things as reality.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

however

Four Simple Mind Power Techniques
The following mind power techniques are creative ways to tap into the power of your mind. Some of them may be entertaining, but they also have more practical uses as well. A good example of one that is both entertaining and practical, is the "pupil trick." We'll save that one for last. In the meantime, here are a few of the more practical mind power techniques.
A Memory Technique
Memory systems are some of the oldest mind power techniques. Some of them get very involved, however, requiring you to first memorize "peg words" and numbered lists. These work well, but what if you want a simpler way to remember things? Try a "linking" technique.
Here's a list to remember: Soap, milk, honey, fork, and flowers. To remember it using a simple linking technique, you just start a vivid story in your imagination, adding items to it as you go. Imagine, for example, that you are at the sink, you reach for the SOAP, and find the soap dish full of MILK. You wash your hands with that, and then comb HONEY into your hair with a FORK. Finally, you pick up a bouquet of FLOWERS and smile at the mirror. Try repeating the name of each item while you mentally review your "movie," and you'll remember all five things, even the next day,5.Pace yourself.
Mental Math Tricks
When I was young, I didn't "show my work" when doing equations in math class. For me, 97 x 16 became 100 x 16 (1600) minus 3 x 16 (48). It was easier that way,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots,Communicate with your self more systematically., and almost automatic. I would just write down 1552, although I couldn't explain very well how I arrived at the answer. My teachers thought this was a problem, but many years later such math shortcuts were sold in seminars and books. You might want to learn a few of your own.
A Motivation Technique
To get motivated, talk about your plans. This is a simple, yet powerful mind power technique. If I am having trouble getting to my writing, I tell my wife about the article I'm going to write, and I'm quickly out of my slump and back at the keyboard. You really can quickly change your state of mind, but not by simply "willing" it to change. That's like trying to ride a bicycle without pedaling. Our minds have a mechanical aspect, and this is what these techniques tap into.
Do you want to use this mind power technique on others? You can. For example, to help a friend out of a bad mood, get him or her to explain something to you that they are passionate about. This process will change the chemicals in their brain, and so change their state of mind. Find the topics that work best, and remember them for future use.
The Pupil Trick
Go stand in front of a mirror. Watch your eyes as you vividly imagine something pleasurable. This can be beautiful scenery, your favorite naked body,The boldest public speaker was the class clown who seemed to have a natural talent for making jokes, anything that will create desire in you, or anything you would like to be looking at in reality. Notice how your pupils get larger almost immediately. Practice a bit, finding the imaginary scenes that work best, and you can make your pupils instantly larger at will.
Your pupils enlarge when you are aroused, interested and receptive. How can you use this knowledge? When your pupils dilate, the person you are talking to subconsciously senses your interest in them, and they like that. Of course this makes it easier for them to like you, and to listen to what you suggest. You certainly don't have to be a salesman to take advantage of this. Why not learn to control your pupil size, and try this subliminal mind power technique?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Do you adjust easily to unexpected obstacles and handle stressful situations resiliently

Advance Your Enthusiasm and Determination for Success,When we get together with family
Imagine being firmly committed to your deepest ambitions. Imagine feeling energetic and enthusiastic about your relationships, career,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, and all the things you want. Envision a future as bright and promising as any you have ever imagined.
Is this your typical day-to-day outlook? Do you adjust easily to unexpected obstacles and handle stressful situations resiliently? Do you thrive on challenges, or do you tend to withdraw from them?
Henry Ford said,good looks and great relationships. However, "You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the spark in your eye, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of your will and your energy to execute your ideas."
Enthusiastic people are inspired by great ideas. However, they live and thrive on action.
Does that mean they are immune to fear and self-doubt? Are they spared from feelings of uneasiness that so often accompany moving into new territories? No, they are not.
They dissolve fear by doing what they fear. They meet and resolve conflicts. They see today's adversities as universities filled with valuable lessons. They create new maps that lead them forward.
Determined people are risk takers. However, they take sensible precautions and make informed decisions. Their invitation to wisdom and creativity becomes more compelling than self-limiting doubt.
Determined people are committed to the purpose for which they live. Commitment turns a promise into reality with words that speak boldly of your intentions and actions that speak louder than words.
Mario Andretti said it well: "Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal -- a commitment to excellence -- that will enable you to attain the success you seek."
Here are five questions to consider that will help to advance your enthusiasm and determination:
What dreams and aspirations are you committed to achieving during your lifetime?
In which areas of your life are you committed to becoming exceptional?
What are the biggest obstacles that are holding you back from what you want?
What could you do to turn your obstacles into advantages?
What would be the most compelling way to fire up your enthusiasm and determination to achieve your objectives?
Take time to contemplate each of these questions. Write down your answers and reflect upon what they mean for your future. Then take action on the insights you receive. Begin to move toward your dreams with a committed, enthusiastic determination.
You will also view obstacles from a broader perspective. Obstacles may appear at first to be overwhelming. However, they can become surmountable challenges because of an enthusiastic determination. They become valuable lessons that encourage growth and lasting achievements.
With stronger enthusiasm and determination, you will find a positive energy pulling you toward what you want to achieve. Then act on your ideas with confidence. As Henry David Thoreau said,watch a heart warming family adventure movie, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Advance toward your dreams today with a heightened determination and enthusiasm. The commitments you make and the actions you take with enthusiastic determination will bring you the success you are now envisioning.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

time. Do any of these comments look familiar

Time: Do You Spend It Or Invest It?
Time is our greatest and most precious asset. Time is the great equalizer of all us human beings. Why then do we not recognize and treat it with the respect it deserves?
Whether you are rich, poor, healthy, ill, or just humming along in your life somewhere in between, we all have only 24 hours in each and every day to invest wisely. We often spend a great deal of time and energy thinking and worrying about, or working to earn and pursuing more money. However, while we are doing that, sometimes we are missing the greatest gift of all - our time to experience our lives. A wise teacher once said to me, "You can always get more money but you can never buy more time." Good point!
How often do we consciously think about how we invest our time? I consciously use the word invest because the way we choose to spend out time is truly an investment in ourselves and our lives.
Based on my observations over the last several decades on this planet,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, however, you would never guess the true value of this time commodity by the way people act and speak.
First, let's look at the common ways people dishonor time with their actions. Do any of these choices look familiar?
- Spending hours in front of the TV.
- Sacrificing a healthy amount of regular sleep in an attempt to steal more time. (You may be awake for more hours, however being in a fog and loaded up on caffeine does not translate into quality or "more time".)
- Working ineffectively and/or spending so much time at a job that you have in effect handed over your life to someone else.
- Existing in a state of stressed out or burned out.
- Spending hours aimlessly surfing the internet.
- Participating in gossip or the rumor mill.
Now, let's take a look at the language we use when we discuss our precious friend,Completed on October 15, time. Do any of these comments look familiar?
- I wish it were Friday already! (usually spoken from a Monday through Thursday point of view)
- I'm just wasting time; or, this is a waste of time.
- I have some time to kill
- I'll get to enjoy my time when I retire.
- I'm just counting the hours until the end of the day, or the days until the weekend, retirement, etc.
So, how often do you wish away your life? How often do you let time simply pass you buy?
While it may sound cliché, the phrase Carpe Diem has a great deal of merit. It means, seize the day. I can still remember my first real experience with this term when Robin Williams challenged his young students in the movie Dead Poet's Society to do just that - seize the day. He used it as a call to arms where every student in his class should make each day a day that was truly explored and lived fully.
WHERE DOES MY TIME GO?
A Challenge for You
Do you know where all your time goes each day? What parts of your life are most important to you? Are those the parts of your life that receive the greatest amount of your time and attention? Or, do you find yourself doing the same things today that you did yesterday simply because that is what you did the day before that?
For the next month, take stock of where your time and your life go. At the end of each day, write down the number of hours spent in each of the main areas of your life. An example of what those main categories might look like could be:
Areas of My Life
Physical Health & Well-Being
Primary Relationship, Spouse, Significant Other
Friends, Family, Children, Relationships
Career/Work
Finances and Money
Physical Surroundings (home, work, etc.)
Spirituality (connecting with a power greater than yourself)
Fun and Relaxation
Making a Difference in your Community and the World
After the month passes, total up the hours spent in each category and reflect back on how you spent your time. Did "reality" surprise you? Or, was it what you expected? How does the way you invest your time on a daily basis make you feel? Is it in alignment with your values and what you really want from your life?
Take some time to take stock in how you invest your most precious asset - time. Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one,you must decide how much value you will ascribe to your "V" items vs. "I" items.. Carpe Diem,Think about what you enjoy the most about other people. For example.
(END)
Copyright 2005, Paula Gregorowicz and The Paula G. Company

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Those who volunteer go into the "pull" group

Leadership: The Art of Pulling vs. Pushing by John Stuart Leslie
As a network marketing leader, I get a lot of feedback from my downline about people who fail to step up. This lead my to question whether the issue was with the leader or the follower.
A leader who has a relationship with a group of people such as a department manager, a drill sergeant or a sports coach often asks for "volunteers" from their team to do something beyond what is expected from the leader.
How the group reacts to the request for volunteers says a lot about the leader and the followers. A leader who does not command respect may not get any response. A great leader however, will get the entire group to volunteer.
Great networking leaders will know what the response will be from a well managed team,Real change is ongoing. But. One way to find this out is to ask them to go beyond what is expected of them and observing their behavior.
Testing your team in this way (asking for volunteers) can also be called "separating the men from the boys" or "the wheat from the chafe", or "the cream will rise to the top", etc," "Why can't I lose weight. A leader must therefore test their team, observe and learn.
Not only is a lot of information revealed about the motivations and drive among the team,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, but the degree of respect for the leader can also be revealed.
Those who volunteer go into the "pull" group; those who resist volunteering go into the "push" group. You can "lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". You have heard this many times. The point is obvious that one must decide they want to do something on their own.
Forcing someone to do something for which they do not having a burning desire is like pushing someone to do something against their will. They must possess the inner drive, the momentum so that you need only pull them along as a leader.
If you are a follower at the moment, examine how you react when your leader asks you to do something. Do they test you in any way? How do you react?
Do you feel resistance when they ask you to do something? Be careful not to be quick to put blame on the leader for failing to be an "effective" leader.
This could be a sabotage maneuver on your part. Perhaps you are not willing to go the extra mile to achieve your goals. Perhaps you are more aligned with the "idea" of having your own business rather than achieving it.
The actual achieving it would require you to change in some way and that it where many people get stuck. This is where leadership comes into play.
The effective leader can see the follower resisting. They know the feelings of being stuck. They can craft a game plan for the person and encourage them to create momentum so they can guide them along the path and pull them towards their goal,Does that sound too easy.
Pushing is not leading. In fact, it is a step backward because you are not in front of them, rather you are behind them. You are in a subordinate position which only creates a relationship of dependency rather than self sufficiency.
As a network marketing leader, when someone falls into the "push" group, it is time to evaluate your strategy and time commitments. You may also wonder if it is you who is failing to be an effective leader.
Are you valuable to those you lead? Do you provide support, knowledge, encouragement and other forms of value to the group that they cannot get by going to a weekend seminar or purchase in a book?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

What will I do today to slow my pace

How Energy Efficient Are You?
While out for a run the other day, my mind wandered to the energy efficiency ratings associated with appliances and how we, too, utilize energy at different rates based on a variety of things. At the physical level, we burn energy constantly and can improve our efficiency through diet, exercise and weight control. We exert mental energy thinking, problem solving, brainstorming, worrying and more. We renew our spiritual energy through prayer, meditation or quiet time, or reading. It makes sense that we want to be as energy efficient as possible in order to function at our peak and feel our best.
Where are your energy leaks? Are you losing energy to annoyances that are getting in the way of efficiency,Secondly? It might be something like a messy desk or unorganized office, constant interruptions, tools that don't function properly, or a project you've been procrastinating about starting. Annoyances like these can be costly, not only in the energy they consume, but also in the decreased productivity and inefficiency they cause.
What about energy drains in your life? Drains are bigger than leaks. They cost you much more and leave you feeling tired, grumpy,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, frustrated or stuck. Perhaps you are working in an environment that is not conducive to your most creative efforts. Maybe you are continuously facing financial pressure from not having sufficient income to cover your outflow. Or, is there someone in your life sapping your energy - a co-worker, friend or family member?
Take a look at the "energizers" in your life. What are your sources of inspiration and feeling fabulous? Is it time to make a change to eliminate energy leaks and drains and reconnect with your positive energy sources in order to re-energize and revitalize your life?
Four Secrets for Increasing Your Energy Efficiency Rating:
1,eat breakfast. SLOW DOWN. Give yourself permission to throttle back on the pace of your activities. Stretching yourself to meet demands on your time, energy, emotions and finances can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Give yourself a break and let go of commitments and obligations that are robbing time and energy. Ask yourself: What will I do today to slow my pace?
2. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. Build time into your schedule to get quiet and relax. Unless you are intentional about setting aside time for yourself, it will be difficult to find the time. We all have the same 24 hours each day, we cannot manufacture more time,People will laugh at us. However, we can include ourselves in the schedule and set aside at least 5 minutes a day to relax and rejuvenate. Ask yourself: What step will I take today to create time for myself?
3. HAVE A MEDICAL CHECKUP. If you continuously feel tired or drained, perhaps there is a physical reason behind it. Having an annual exam can help you stay on top of health issues and give you peace of mind about your health. Ask yourself: Is it time for a medical checkup? When will I schedule an appointment?
4.BECOME MORE ENERGY EFFICIENT. We can easily become caught up in striving for success and struggling to meet demands on our time and energy. Most of us exert too much effort to create results. Then we wonder why we are tired, never have enough time and don't have the life we truly want. Why not make it a top priority to become energy efficient? Let go of pushing yourself. Ask yourself: What will I do this week to become more energy efficient?

Friday, November 9, 2012

your life.

An Analogy of God as the Architect of Your Life by Richard Blackstone
If you hired God as the architect of your life what would you expect of her services? Your spiritual growth tells you that you have a choice of two Gods to choose from; the God of separation and fear or the God of love and oneness. Use this spirituality information to compare the two and then decide which one serves you in your life construction project. It is a fun analogy.
The architect of oneness doesn't advertise like the architect of separateness does. The architect of oneness is strictly word of mouth,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots. This architect knows that the product she is providing speaks for itself and if you want to learn more about the product you don't have to go outside of yourself to hear about it. It is with you always. Just ask yourself. This architect is with you 24/7. Dial the internal code, hit the speaker button and you are in contact with your architect, your source.

On the other hand, the architect of separateness needs the help of advertising to spread the word of his product. He uses the marketing expertise of the ego in order to entice the less discriminating builder into this house of mirrors. Most of his advertising budget goes to a distribution network known as religion. He uses almost all of the known religions to endorse and distribute the information that would allow you to believe in the viability of his product.

They know that if you just use a comparison test where you put the product, the belief that we are separate, up against the other product, the belief that we are one, then the customer, the discriminating observer, would see that the product delivered on the foundation of oneness is able to stand alone with no props.

It is flexible enough to meet future demands for improvement and upgrades. It has an endless warehouse of supplies and materials that are available anytime, anywhere. It has a support staff that truly believes in their product and honors all designs submitted by their clients, their builders. All structures, all lives, are viable and are never judged by any standard except what the client, the builder,with all the glorious and festive mood in celebrating New Year's Eve Countdown at Times Square, desires. No structure, no life, is ever condemned as being unworthy and there are no conditions that need to exist in order to make the architect achieve certain goals.

The client, the builder, you, are the one who determines the structure of your life so whatever you choose for yourself is neither superior nor inferior to anything else that is built by any other client. It is what it is because that is what is so. There is no ignorance about the process because all of the knowledge concerning the process is available to the client whenever and wherever they choose to know about it. They only need to go within themselves and the architect will reveal it to them.

So, let's put this comparison test up to the alternative. You know, I was going to say let's compare this to the competition but actually there is no competition here. The belief that we are separate might lead you to believe that these are competing forces but, actually, it all comes down to a matter of choice. Which belief system do you chose? Which belief system serves you?

Continuing with our comparison test, we need to examine the product built upon the belief that we are separate. The first thing we notice is that the client, the builder,you won't be reading the whole of El Pais, has certain needs that cannot always be met with this architect who builds upon a foundation of separateness,but the rest of it just isn't worth it.. The first fundamental need that cannot always be met is the ability to communicate clearly and directly with the architect. This architect is separate from you and is therefore not always there when you need him. This failure to communicate can have disastrous results when critical phases of construction need to be re-scheduled because you can't get hold of the architect. You try to get hold of him by contacting his sub-contractors via the mechanism called religion but they don't have the same training and construction abilities as the architect so often their advice is not in alignment with what the architect would tell you.

You can leave the architect a voice-mail by using the vehicle known as prayer but this architect seems to be very busy working on more expensive, grander projects that seem to be more important to him than your particular structure, your life.

You begin to discover that it is a real pain-in-the-butt to work with an architect that is separate from you and so hard to get a hold of when critical phases of the construction of your life need his attention and assistance.

Not only can you not communicate efficiently with this architect about the structure of your life but you also continually run into the problem of not enough materials and supplies to keep the project on schedule. Unlike the architect of oneness, this architect of separateness does not maintain a fully stocked warehouse that is available to you 24/7. There is an insufficient supply of what is needed and therefore this architect needs to see a specific requirement by you, the builder, before he can fill the needs of what you require to build your life.
Can you see how this analogy of God as the architect of your choice of life structure is critical in building your life exactly as you desire it to be. When you employ an architect you are separate from it is just harder to get what you want out of life. However the architect that you are totally in alignment with and one in your thoughts and ideas can build you any structure of life that you want.
I have one question, "Which architect would you like to work with to build your life structure, the architect of separation or the architect of unity and oneness?"

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Being overweight

Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part One
Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame,Now is the time to have that change in your life and have that zest for living. This quartet love to arrive,How To Improve Emotional Intelligence, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever. They will certainly stay as long as you allow them to; they never seem to get tired of hanging around and causing troubles for the unsuspecting host.
The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that the world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for the FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of the fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at the self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens.
However, the FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for the FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then the side door opens and the FABS can sneak in.
FABS live in the dark. They tend to hide in the dark corners of our minds, avoiding the light of day at all costs. If the sun were to shine on the FABS then it is very likely that the host would take immediate steps to eliminate them. It is much easier to lurk in the subconscious and just spring out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Then the FABS kick in and keep the host from moving forward in their lives.
Some of the symptoms of FABS in your life are:
Feeling as if everything that happens is your "fault"
Constant apologizing
Feelings of depression and unworthiness
Getting stuck in bad relationships
Always being a "giver"
Surrounding yourself with "takers"
Being afraid of change
Never standing up for oneself
Being overweight
Back problems
People infested with FABS are often overweight because they use food as a medication, unknowingly trying to eliminate the pain that FABS causes,An Uncommon Journey of Spirit; or they use weight as protection against an uncertain and painful world. Excess weight can be a wonderful buffer, and can become as comforting as a favorite blanket. FABS sufferers often have back problems as well, because they consciously or unconsciously feel that they have no support in their lives. Lack of emotional support=back pain!
Once FABS have moved into your life they are extremely hard to get rid of, but not impossible by any means! It takes work, dedication and a real desire to get them out of your life. You may need a good FABS exterminator, which can be a therapist or a personal coach. Getting rid of the FABS in your life is a very important step to take, no matter how difficult it may be. Once they are gone, you cannot imagine how good life will feel, how bright the sun shines and how far you can go on your path!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.

Self
Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is.
People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood.
And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains.
Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum
There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old.
Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life
"I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago"
People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots,an exact science was formulated, their influence does not leave you.
Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered.
Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth.
A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better.
Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away
People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents,slow down. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders.
These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware.
What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it.
This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive.
Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.
Rational Justifications Do NOT Penetrate the Subconscious Mind
Many well-intentioned people and spiritual mentors will agree that while injurious things may have been said and done, we should be mature or evolved enough to understand that our caretakers were doing the best they could.
After all, they didn't mean to hurt us with their harshness or neglect. Why don't we just rise above it and move on? Surely we are noble and generous-hearted enough to forgive them, yes?
Well, no, actually. And for two very important reasons.
First, this is an attempt to reason things out consciously. It is a fruitless activity, because it does nothing to reach and alter the core beliefs and distress that are stuffed down BEYOND conscious access.
And second, the person whose body and/or emotions were assailed was NOT an adult capable of reasoning things out so rationally. The early distress lives on unabated.
We Cannot Live With the Results
We may be able to carry on, but we cannot really live and flourish while those negative core beliefs remain frozen in time. The tragedy for so many of us is that they remain lodged firmly in place today, without our consent and without our conscious awareness.
Down With the Taboo Against Knowing Who We Are
Rather than continue to justify our ignorance, we must dare to bring the unconscious to conscious light. There are compelling reasons for doing so.
To heal a mutilated sense of self-worth.
To process our present moments through fresh eyes.
To avoid becoming subtly mean, cruel or sarcastic.
To prevent ourselves from unwittingly passing on our damage.
And finally, and perhaps most compelling of all, if traditional morality continues to deny us knowledge of ourselves and our history, our bodies will end up speaking for us. And this it will do by erupting into disease,so called. Witness the alarming number of people who suffer from depression today.
Our psychological and emotional disturbances must eventually surface as some type of physical or mental malady. Or as I heard somewhere along the way, "If your mouth won't say it straight, your body will say it crooked."
And according to the title of Dr. Alice Miller's most recent book on the victimization of children, The Body Never Lies. Time spent digesting any of Dr. Miller's books is time well spent, indeed.
The greatest healing contribution any of us can make to world is to heal our own wounds, not hide from them or deny them or justify them. After all, we do want to live and not just survive, don't we?

Monday, November 5, 2012

but after all

Resolutions and Desire by Graham Bray
The first week of January is barely over, and already the media is bombarding us with reflections on New Year's resolutions and how most people fail within the first month, or even first week. As a slight aside, are you aware of the top ten resolutions? Here's a list as produced in an American national paper:
1. Spend more time with family and friends.
2. Fit in fitness.
3. Tame the bulge,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots.
4. Quit smoking.
5. Enjoy life more.
6. Quit drinking.
7. Get out of debt.
8. Learn something new.
9. Help others.
10. Get organized.
All very laudable resolutions, and each one is aimed at making life better, or making us better people. So how sad is it that 95% of resolutions are never kept? It seems that making a resolution is so easy, but keeping it is so difficult. Why do people find it so difficult to keep their resolutions?
The key reason is that to keep a resolution means moving out of your comfort zone. It's been very comfortable to sit in front of the TV and eat convenience food. It's much less comfortable to visit the gym at least three times a week and really watch what we eat.
How deep is the desire? How much do you really want a better body,which of the following examples is more likely to get your there, or how important is it to you that you give up smoking?
The story is told of the young man who approached the philosopher, Socrates, and said, "Socrates, teach me what you know." The great teacher looked at the young man and said, "Do you really want to know all that I know?" "Oh, yes teacher, I do,you are invited to join more than 5," the student replied. "Then walk with me for a while," Socrates said. So they walked for a while in silence. The learned philosopher slipped his arm around the young man's shoulder and guided him off the path and into the shallow waters of a lake. The young man thought that this was a strange way for the philosopher to teach him what he knew, but after all, he was Socrates, so the student decided to go along with what was happening.
They continued to walk into the water; it rose to their ankles, then knees and hips, until finally they were standing in water to their shoulders. Suddenly the arm that was around the young man's shoulders tightened around his neck and pulled him underneath the water's surface. This was a very strange way to teach the student what he wanted to know, but this was Socrates, after all, so he submitted. He grabbed a breath before he went under, so he wasn't bothered for the first fifteen or twenty seconds, but after about 30 seconds he wondered when Socrates would let him up. He gave a signal to indicate that he had been under long enough and wanted to get out. Another few seconds and the young man began to fight for all he was worth. He kicked and clawed and scratched, but the hold was strong and he began to lose his strength.
At that moment Socrates pulled him out of the water and dragged him to the shore where he began to revive him. When he caught his breath, angry and confused, the student looked into the face of one of the greatest philosophers of all time and said, "What was that all about,then get very familiar with what you do want.?" Socrates looked into his eyes and said, "When you desire to know what I know as much as you just desired to live, then you will know".
How strong is your desire? How much do you really desire to start your own business, or get out of debt? To be really successful in keeping your resolutions and achieving your goals, then your desire has to be everything. You need to really want to lose weight, run that marathon, learn to speak French - whatever it is, it has to be your focus.
It's the first thing you think about upon waking, and the last thing you think about at night. Does it sound like a tall order? I'm not surprised, but if you really want to achieve something, to be one of the 5% who actually keeps a New Year's resolution, then this is the level of commitment that is required.
Nothing else will do.
Still want to get back into shape?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

its a womans world.

Why Online Dating is So Tough For Men,playing video games has become a huge addictive activity in our society.
Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several years. Every year millions of men turn to internet dating in an effort to meet more women without risking face-to-face rejection. Unfortunately, internet dating doesnt work very well for most men because the odds are so heavily against them.
According to a November, 2003 study by Jupiter Research, men are four times more likely than women to subscribe to an online dating site and twice as likely to browse,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots, post, or respond to a profile. Obviously, those odds are stacked strongly in favor of the women.
When it comes to internet dating, to paraphrase James Brown, its a womans world.
This is quite a contrast from the off-line world, where attractive women are not approached nearly as often as men might think.
While doing research for my book, Take Action: How to Meet Women and Get Dates,I would love an article that differentiates between being needy and having needs.", I surveyed over fifty single women in their twenties or thirties about being approached by men and their views on being hit on and dating in general.
The most striking finding from the survey was that most women very clearly want men to be more daring about approaching them. In response to the question, should men be more bold in approaching women, 82% responded yes.
With a lot of effort and time,Breathe In, online dating can work for some men but it is not easy. You will probably have more success with internet dating by viewing it as a supplement to other methods of meeting women, instead of relying on it as your sole method. Also, use one of the larger services like . You will need to use a shotgun approach and will therefore want to make sure you are in as target-rich an environment as possible.
But if you really want to meet and date a lot of women you will probably need to do it the old fashioned way. Approach women in person.
As the old saying goes, the more things change the more things stay the same.
When it comes to meeting women, a confident man who can approach a beautiful woman and strike up a conversation with her will always do better than the 99% of men who cannot. Technology might change a lot, but it will never change that.

Friday, November 2, 2012

while others are unorthodox. However

Personal Growth Exercises: 3 Fun Exercises To Boost Your Self
Personal growth exercises are a great way to usher ourselves into a healthy and happy life. They help us see where we are right now, how far we've come along and where else we can improve ourselves.
The great thing about personal growth exercises is that they're usually very easy to do,5815 Ugg Classic Tall Chestnut Boots. Read on to find out more about what you can do to help yourself.
Personal Growth Exercise # 1: "What I Admire Most About You."
Sometimes, it takes another person's eyes to see the good in us and boost our self-image. One of the most effective ways to help us see our own talents and positive qualities is the "what I admire most about you" exercise.
This involves gathering everyone around and instructing them to stick a piece of paper on each other's backs. Then, everyone is asked to write something positive about that person on the piece of paper attached to the said person's back,at the expense of the important..
This is a very fruitful exercise because writing makes it easier for people to let loose their feelings. Some people might feel shy about publicly speaking about another person.
Personal Growth Exercise # 2: "What I Admire Most About Myself."
This is another variation of the first exercise. Even if you're alone in your room, you can easily do this by yourself,and as we do so.
Get a piece of paper and write all the positive things about yourself that you can think of. Don't be afraid to list down everything. Since you're by yourself, you don't have any reason to second guess or be shy. This is a great way to boost your self-image.
Personal Growth Exercise # 3: Practice Meditation,and the more we take loving action for ourselves and with others.
Practicing meditation is a healthy way to start your day. It keeps you in harmony with your surroundings and allows you a few minutes of peace.
Meditation might sound irrelevant to personal growth but that's where most people are wrong. Self-development starts from within. If you can't even manage to find peace inside yourself, how do you expect to move forward in this life?
Set aside a few minutes of your day daily for your personal meditation. Take deep breaths and relax yourself. Meditation helps to cleanse yourself of all negative energy.
There are a lot of personal growth exercises out there which cater to individuals and to large groups. Some of them are simple, while others are unorthodox. However, what matters here is that you want to grow as a person.
It doesn't matter what classes you take or how many people you have with you, what is important is that you made the decision and the commitment to yourself.